In celebration of Occupational Therapy Week, we’re sharing practical, easy-to-follow tips for parents and carers to support children’s development at home. These strategies, used by our therapists, can make a big difference in daily life.
1. Turn questions into statements
If you want to improve your child’s cooperation with simple tasks, try making your requests as statements rather than questions.
For example:
- Instead of asking: “Can you put your shoes on?”
- Say: “You can put your shoes on now.”
This small shift helps avoid giving them an option to say “no” while also wording it in such a way that they feel empowered.
2. Connecting without testing
As adults, we often show interest in our children by asking a LOT of questions without realising. These questions can constantly test our kids and get in the way of really connecting with them. Instead, you can show your interest in what your child is doing by avoiding questions you already know the answer to. Commenting on what you have noticed about what your child is doing shows you notice and value their actions and opens the door for the child to naturally give more information without the unnecessary pressure to answer endless questions.
For example:
- Instead of: “What colour is that?”
- Try: “Wow, you coloured the dragon red and the fire purple!”
3. Movement before focus + food
It’s helpful to sprinkle movement throughout the day. Moving releases stress chemicals like adrenaline, so before difficult tasks and times of day, like homework or dinner time, try to work some physical activity into your child’s routine. It might seem that ‘homework and then play’ is the most sensible after school routine, but kids need a break and an opportunity to move to help turn their brains back on, support their focus and make them more aware of their internal states, like hunger.
If everyone seems a bit irritable, try breaking up the day with little movement ‘snacks’ – things like stretches, wrestle games, gardening or even a few crashes on the couch cushions can make a big difference in helping kids reset and feel good!
3. Managing emotions and behaviour
When positive emotions (like excitement or happiness) are shared with people who understand, they are doubled.
When negative emotions (like fear or anger) are shared with other people, they are halved.
That is why emotions cause behaviours: so we can show other people how we are feeling so they can help us.
So, when your child feels overwhelmed, the best thing you can do for them is to:
- Be present
- Accept their emotions and experience
- Mirror their non-verbals: body language + tone of voice
- Label how you think they are feeling or why they may be feeling that way: ‘He took your toy! You are so upset about it!’
- Respond to tricky behaviours with love and reinforced boundaries: ‘I’m not going to let you hit; you can push against my hands.’
This is a challenge when kids’ behaviours often make us feel overwhelmed. So, to calm yourself, take a few long breaths out: this is the quickest way to calm the nervous system and be the present connection our kids need. After a little while, their stressed brains automatically tune in to our calm, even if we don’t do or say anything. This helps kids learn that even big and scary feelings are survivable because you are there with them and will be there for them no matter what.
4. Prepare for success
Before going to a store or somewhere where children often ask for things, set expectations in advance.
- Say: “There will be lots of fun things you’ll want, but we’re only getting what’s on the list today.”
Predictability is key: children feel safe when they know what’s coming next. Talking to them about their day, what’s happening, and setting clear expectations around what they can or can’t do (before they even ask) can reduce stress for both of you. This approach acknowledges their feelings while setting clear limits, helping reduce meltdowns and making everyone’s day smoother as children better understand boundaries.
5. Fun, joyful interactions every day
Humans are wired to find joy and pleasure through interaction. Injecting playfulness into everyday routines makes tasks easier to get through and more enjoyable for everyone. Setting aside a special fun time each day has also been proven to improve children’s behaviour and overall family life. All it takes is 10 minutes a day—no need for big outings like milkshakes or movies! It can be as simple as watching your child play Lego (with your phone put away) or having some extra cuddle time before bed.
At Royal Far West, our occupational therapists are here to support your child’s development in practical ways that fit your daily life. By incorporating these simple strategies at home, you’re helping to create a positive environment where your child can thrive.
For more advice and support, visit our Occupational Therapy page